In 20 years of practice this is some of what I have heard!
- I need to feel that aliveness again, the excitement of when we first met.
- We have become like brother and sister.
- We lack even basic affection
- Boredom in the bedroom
- No communication around sensual/sexual needs
- Afraid of living life alone, yet in a relationship of dying together...not living together.
According to Wikipedia, play “refers to a range of voluntary, intrinsically motivated activities that are normally associated with pleasure and enjoyment”. I used to think that play had to be put away with childish things once you reached the age of consent but, thankfully, that really isn’t the case.
As children, we all liked to play. Break times at school were called ‘play time’, bedrooms were filled with toys, friends were invited over after school to play and parties were a massive excuse to play and have fun. When you hit your teenage years, playing anything other than music seemed like the worst thing you could possibly do because you were trying to be ‘grown up’. What most of us failed to realise though is that adults play too… you just never got to hear about the really fun stuff!
It is a critical aspect of development in our early years, so why can’t play be an important part of our development as adults too? It can help you manage stress, reach important milestones in your personal development – socially, emotionally and morally – and also create and maintain relationships. Well, that’s what’s been said with regard to play for kids, but why can’t it be the same for those of us who are over the age of consent?
So put on your boots and come out and play!
My wife and I want to share some of the joy we have experienced since our visit. We hope you don't mind our letting you know how things are for us.
After our session with you we realized that we could not replicate a lot of what happened on our king-size bed. It's very hard for me to be on my knees a long time (Army). Our time with you inspired us to look at some changes that we could make to facilitate our physical enjoyment of our sexuality. We bought a massage table on Saturday. WOW! It's not just the massage table, though. We feel inspired by many of the things that you taught us. My wife came home last week with a feather boa and a feather duster. She's also found all sorts of interesting fabrics in her closet. We shared a marvelous time last night. We began by consciously casting negative distractions out of the room, and setting our intentions for the time together. She felt truly empowered. She noticed some anxiety in her, wondering whether I would enjoy her gift (I was in receive mode). She supervised her anxiety and found a new, deep sense of freedom to explore herself and me. I cannot express the joy I felt as I experienced her love. She expressed a similar feeling as we cuddled.
We also found your wisdom around timers tremendously liberating. We both noticed feeling anxious around how long to linger before letting things become more genital focused. We wanted to enjoy getting connected to our bodies and each other, and we were unsure how to gage when that had happened We agreed to a time for front and back massage. The timer went off on the second piece and she and I took off. It was natural, easy and flowed with energy! I noticed that when we took off we were together in a way that I don't often experience (and we have a fair amount of experience with this).
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! we look forward to learning more as times work out for us to see you again.